Human suffering, death and healing- thoughts!

Limitations of contemporary medicine- seeing suffering & death as failure

Contemporary allopathic medicine and care process is trapped by viewing death and complications in the care process as failure. Death of the suffering humans triggers discussion and research to prevent such occurrence in future. In a way, it is the compassion and empathy intrinsic to human beings that results in such search for ‘cure’ of all or most illnesses. In a materialistic world dominated by pitiable, unquenchable thirst for acquiring more wealth, power and fame, such expression of compassion could be healing for individuals or groups of people experiencing it.

The biggest flaw in such a thinking however, is that human suffering is real and unavoidable. We are failing to make use of the first noble truth that Gautama Buddha gave us after 7 years of selfless effort towards the understanding of Truth about suffering. We are failing to make use of the entire teaching of Srimad Bhagavat Gita which speaks of unattached action as service to the Divine and as a pathway to the Divine. 

Are we training doctors to accept human suffering and death?

My answer is most times, no! Most of my training in allopathic medicine did not involve a part which allowed acceptance of suffering and death. Training was mostly about identifying and curing illnesses. In helpless situations where no such cure was available, our training aimed to provide palliation of symptoms like pain that our patients suffered with. A high and worthy goal indeed!

Most of the training I experienced refused to talk about death as the inevitable consequence of life. Mortality audits we attended left an impression in my mind that death is not acceptable and must be somehow always prevented. My teachers at Nizam’s Institute, Hyderabad, Prof. Sastry and Prof. Bheerappa and my boss at CMC, Vellore, Prof. Sitaram were notable exceptions of that idea that death is not acceptable. They told us that medical care is about compassionate and best possible care of the suffering as an accompaniment during illness. And, they made us inquire about the meticulousness of the care process and not the end point of cure or death. Unfortunately, caught in the rat race to train more, I left all these exceptional teachers before they could leave the full impact of this truth on my being.

The reality of pain, suffering and death- lack of access

Pain was always treated as an enemy that has to be controlled by all means. But, the reality of medical practice showed me that pain cannot always be treated. Use the best available pain killers and still suffering due to pain is a reality. This used to be discouraging. 

I suffered intensely seeing the suffering due to persistent pain despite medicines and later, due to lack of access to medical care. It consumed me. For several years, I felt like a failure and wished death to soon visit me, instead of patients I could not care for. Every patient who needed care, but could not buy it in this world of private health care where we sell our knowledge and ability to care for our sick fellow human beings caused intense pain. The 18 years I spent training as the surgeon I became felt like fruitless use of time. I had come to become a saleable commodity rather than an instrument of healing. 

I tried to switch from private health care to public health care in 2021 through a potential offer of employment at Stanley Medical College, Chennai’s liver transplant program. But, due to an act of the Divine, the plan did not materialise. I ended up working in private health care where the feeling of being a failure- a person selling skills for livelihood and not available for healing of the suffering haunted me. 

A trip to Shirdi- Beginning of the healing journey

My wife introduced me to Sai Baba of Shirdi, a great Being who treated people’s illnesses as a form of service while himself living a life of extreme austerity. We travelled to Shirdi. After coming back from Shirdi, numerous Teachers appeared in life to show me what care and healing mean in truth. 

The endless line of Teachers- Christ, Krishna…

An endless line of Teachers then appeared. Teachings of Saint Neem Karoli Baba Maharaj reached through Sri Ram Dass of Kainchi Ashram, who taught me that Christ and Krishna are the same! Sri Krishna Prem and Sri Madhav Ashish of Uttar Brindaban Ashram at Mirtola had left behind invaluable treasures in the form of teachings they left. Srimad Bhagavad Gita and The Kathopanishad were taught, resulting in cleansing of the mirror of my mind, bit by bit. Anger and hatred towards a system which cared and provided mostly for the ones who could pay started dissolving. 

Unattached action of Srimad Bhagavad Gita in the current era

The living examples of selfless service and unattached action that Srimad Bhagavad Gita teaches so well, appeared in life. Dr. Regi George, Dr. Lalitha Regi, Dr. Ravi and Mrs. Prema of Sittilingi Tribal Health Initiative, Dr. Nandakumar Menon, Dr. Shylaja and Dr. Royson of ASHWINI, Gudalur, Mrs. Lindsay Ghosh and Ranjan Ghosh (Ranjan da) of Jan Chetna Manch, Chandankiyari, Dr. Yogesh Jain of Jan Swasthya Sahyog in Ganyari and Dr. Ravikannan and Mrs. Seetha Ravikannan of Cachar cancer hospital, Silchar made their appearances in my troubled life and gradually helped me understand that life and similarly, practice of medicine is about accompaniment of the sick and suffering and not about cure that I was trying to sell all along. 

All of them showed that it is possible to do one’s best to care, to relieve pain and suffering and yet many times, fail to achieve these high goals. They showed how beautiful life becomes when selfless giving of care becomes the highest endpoint of care as a healer. 

Suffering is grace

Sri Ram Dass of Kainchi Ashram says in the short movie, ‘Going Home’ that suffering is grace. When we start to understand the meaning of suffering and why it comes- a result of clinging or attachment to a particular outcome, as Buddha and Sri Krishna taught- the beginning of the end of suffering starts. Suffering for everyone of us, including the unfortunate sick humans who we care for, could become an eyeopener to the Truth of impermanence of human life. Understanding impermanence not as failure, but as a high Truth is healing. 

As one of my Teachers, Thich Nhat Hahn teaches, impermanence is beautiful. The impermanence of sea water is the cloud. The impermanence of cloud is the river and the impermanence of the river is the water we drink. Impermanence of winter is the flowering season! 

Let there be an end to all suffering- The Third and the fourth Noble Truths

I pray that none of you who read this suffer, at least unnecessarily, but are able to experience the grace that I experience many times. Let the Divine grace manifest as peace in each of your hearts. Let the Peace you experience become so intense and full, that each one of you becomes capable of transmitting that overflowing Peace to suffering beings around you and heal them. 

Let the world around us learn that money, power and fame are so impermanent and the Peace we experience is so invaluable and can never be bought.